


Breathe

by twistingdeceit



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Canon-Typical Violence, Dysphoria, Mild Blood, Peter is only mentioned, juno is afab, juno steel is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistingdeceit/pseuds/twistingdeceit
Summary: After a heist gone wrong, Juno has to clean his own wounds and also deal with the body in his mirror
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> the way Juno's dysphoria is described in this is heavily inspired by my own dysphoria as a AFAB enby. If descriptions of mild blood or dysphoria may trigger you, please be safe and pick another fic!! there are lots of talented writers in the Penumbra fandom and I was mainly using this as a outlet for my own recent feelings. 
> 
> this also isn't beta read and it short as hell

Juno stood slouched over the sink in the bathroom, carefully extracting glass from the cut on his shoulder. He’d had to dive shoulder first through a window during the heist today, and the thin dress shirt he’d been wearing hadn’t given him nearly as much protection as the thick turtleneck and coat he usually wore. He stepped back slightly once he was sure that the glass was all cleaned away, and winced when he pressed a cool cloth into it to wipe away the excess blood.

Peter had offered to help Juno bandage up, since he was blaming himself for not taking the possibility of a second set of guards being on duty the day one of the most expensive items in the Sol system was delivered. Peter was usually extremely careful, so he always beat himself up over his mistakes. Juno had turned him down anyways, and ducked into the bathroom alone as quickly as possible.

Juno turned again to make sure the door was tightly locked shut and sighs, avoiding looking at most of his body in the mirror. He knew he’d have to soon, and he could already feel the icy cold burn of dysphoria creeping into his stomach. He turned his attention back onto his wound and removed the cloth, quickly replacing it with medicated gauze. He taped it down and closed his eyes for a moment, bracing himself before he had to look over the rest of his body. He’d already shucked off his binder carefully once he’d gotten into the bathroom. Usually, he wouldn’t wear one for a heist, but he hadn’t planned on actually being active. Peter was supposed to go in and steal the item Buddy had charged them with, while Juno played a pretty lady hoping for the hand of their eldest son. Obviously things didn’t go as planned and he’d ended up jumping out of a window so he and Peter could escape.

Juno scowled softly and opened his eyes, wincing at the body in front of him. Dysphoria clawed its way up into his throat and he crossed his arms over his chest, pressing them back close. He winced at the sharp pain, but he didn’t care. His eyes fell from his chest and fell to his stomach and hips instead. He’d never been skinny, but there was more fat at his hips than he’d like, and his waist was too thin to make it look like he was just heavier set. Instead they looked feminine, especially with the chest he was currently covering with his arms. He could feel more of that discomfort rising in his throat but he didn’t want to force himself to look away. He’d had to deal with this since he started puberty, he just wished he was used to it by now. He sighed deeply as he dropped his arms, his eyes finally leaving the mirror. He grabbed the thick sweater he’d brought in with him, quickly pulling it over his head. He relaxed when his chest was covered. The sweater was big and thick, like a cocoon and Juno pulled it close to him as he cleaned up his mess.

He left the bathroom once he had thrown away his trash and made sure that there was no blood or glass shards left behind. He collected his now ruined dress shirt and dumped it into the trash, and shoved his binder under his arm as he left. Juno ducked into his room and threw his things across the room. He laid down on his bed, burying his face into the sleeve of his sweater. He let his mind wonder to everything but his feelings in the bathroom. He could deal with them later. Ignoring his feelings had always come easy for him.


End file.
